Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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