32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
