problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize