How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
