Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
