How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
