I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The adults are the big ones right?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
