the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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