The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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