the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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