Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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