You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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