just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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