That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
