Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
