We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
