I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
