I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
