Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
