I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
