Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
