Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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