Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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