Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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