I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There r osticjed everywhere
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
