i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
There's always time for handjobs
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
