Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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