So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
