it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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