woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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