Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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