How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
