I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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