Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
