well you can't waste a boner
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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