Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
