it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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