I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
this hospital has no fireball
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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