Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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