woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
