Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
