i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
