she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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