Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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