i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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