More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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