I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
