its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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