Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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