We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
