I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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