he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
